If you want to pack on a ton of weight
really fast, drink a lot of milk. And eat a
lot of starches.
That’s what I advise those who are desperate
to gain weight – and there are damn few of them
running around in our country these days. Yet, a
gallon of milk a day will quickly add 20-30 lbs. to
a skinny man’s frame, especially if he’s doing Hindu
squats and focusing on breathing deeply.
On the other hand, if you’re like most people these
days and you want to lose weight – I would tell you to
eliminate the milk. Not only does it fatten you – but today’s
milk is worse for your body, health wise, than ever before
due to the purveyor’s of the product adding growth hormone,
etc. to it.
Reminds me of a funny story. Twas in the bar with several
friends and clients some months back. One of the guys in
our group ordered a glass of milk.
“Is there anything else you’d like?” the waitress asked.
“Yes, I’d like a glass of water.”
“Sparkling or straight?” she asked.
“Straight,” he said. ‘Straight from the tap.”
I was aghast.
“Dumb-dum – you ordered your water from the tap?” I questioned.
“What’s wrong with that,” he replied – and meant it.
In yesterday’s edition of the Sun – a U.K. based paper, there was an
article about overweight pregnant women in the U.K. – and how this
is a problem.
At first you might think, “What problem? Pregnant women
are supposed to gain weight.”
That they are. But these women are obese when they
conceive – which means that by the time they give
birth – they’re gargantuan. And this, many fear, leads
to the child being genetically predisposed to being a
lardassian. Makes sense to me.
Especially if the mother puts the baby on formula instead
of breast feeding. Then, after the baby no longer needs
suckling, if she puts her on milk – oh boy, the kid
has a greatly reduced chance of never being a truly healthy,
fit, lean machine – yet it is still possible if the kid learns how to
follows Nature’s Laws.
In China, the population is getting fatter and fatter by the
year. Every time I go back I am amazed at how much
fatter the people are getting. It’s in part because of Mickey
D’s and Kay Ef Cee as well as other fast foods – but it’s also
due to a plethora of snacks – and milk and yogurt.
Many Chinese never drank milk their whole lives. And they’re
still lean, even in their 60’s and beyond. But those who are suckling
milk from a glass or carton of kefir/yogurt are getting huge.
Here’s my take on the matter: There is no animal in nature
that sucks the bosom of another animal for sustenance.
Lions don’t drink from a goat’s teat – or a cow’s. Gorillas
don’t go to a zebra for milk.
All animals, except man, understand that you get your milk
from your own species. To get your milk from your own mother
is to follow Nature’s Laws. To drink milk from a goat or cow is
The big fear of people NOT drinking milk is that of osteoporosis.
All I can say is milk hasn’t shown itself to help in treating that
problem in the least.
Four years ago, when I was in Las Vegas for a seminar, a hefty lady
asked me if I’d have lunch with her. This was code for ‘I’d like to
pitch you my marketing program – or I want to suck as much free
information from you as I can.’
Reluctantly, I agreed to the lunch. As you can imagine, this was Vegas,
and the buffet was set.
I ate my meat and veggies.
She filled her plate with starchy carbs – rice, beans, corn, wheat – with
a mixture of veggies with tofu for good measure. An absolute sham of
a diet for someone trying to lose weight.
To top it off, she ordered a LARGE glass of milk. And when she finished,
she ordered another. “Got to make sure I get plenty of milk for my bones.
Keep my hips strong,” she said.
I munched on my steak, raised my eyebrows and said, “Oh yeah” – as if
she was teaching me something. So polite, I am – at times.
Yet all I could think was: Lady, if you’re concerned about your hips,
strip some of that weight off. You’re carrying at least 100 pounds of excess
blubber. What’s worse for your hips, 100 extra pounds or NOT having another
glass of milk.”
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