Great question came my way today about the role of
emotions in success.
I was asked for specifics about the idea of being emotionally
detached from both positive and negative circumstances.
What exactly does this mean? That was the question.
Let me answer with the following story: In the spring of 1987
I began my first business as a personal fitness trainer. I opened
a studio, got a loan for equipment and negotiated a line-of-credit
with a local weekly magazine to run my ad for six weeks. If they
didn’t give me six-weeks credit I’d have been out of luck as the only
other option was to pay weekly – and I didn’t have a nickel to my name
to pay for the ad, whether it ran once, twice or a hundred times.
When the ad came out the following week, I was very excited. I just
knew the ad was going to work like gangbusters. I sat at my desk
waiting for the phone to ring. Nothing happened.
Not a call. Not a ring – except other magazine and newspaper sales reps
who saw my ad and wanted to sell me ads for their publications.
I kept visualizing the phone ringing. I imagined it deeply. I saw the new prospects
coming to me and handing over the money.
After eight hours of sitting, my excitement turned into hunger. I needed something
to eat. Rather than sitting to stew about the lack of phone calls – I figured I’d relax and
go eat some stew. I emotionally detached from what I wanted and took a rest.
Upon my return to the office I noticed two messages on my recorder – remember those?
Both were interested in training. I called each back. Botched one – got an appointment
with the other.
Next day I sat waiting for the phone to ring once again. Nothing.
I started the day excited. After eight hours – no excitement. Only hunger.
I repeated the formula from the previous day. Took a rest; went out for a bite.
Again, upon my return, two messages – both interested in training.
Six weeks later I had a full slate of clients to train. I was in business and had the
money to pay for the ads I took out.
I never realized the profound significance of what happened until I delved deeply
into the study of Psycho-Cybernetics.
You take time to visualize. You take time to imagine what you want. And when you
do so you pour every ounce of positive emotion you can muster into the equation.
Then you detach emotionally – go about your business, get busy doing other things.
You don’t sit around trying to force or will things to happen. You allow them to happen.
And you trust that if you do the right things and stay focused – they will happen.
But you cannot make things go faster through sheer force – especially mental force.
There is a time to apply force and a time let the force you’ve summoned apply itself.
Being emotionally detached does not mean that you are emotionless. It means that
you are aware of your emotions at a much higher and deeper level – so deep, in fact,
that you can turn them on or off at will, you can let them flow at your command.
Some months ago a business associate and I went to a worldwide corporate office to
negotiate a program. Whilst we were sitting in the lobby, he got emotional and said,
“I just want to thank you for coming here with me today. It’s been an honor to spend
the day with you and ….”
I cut the guy off. Gently reminded him that we had a purpose for being at this place –
and there would be no celebrating until the game winning touch down was scored.
Once inside the office my associate took note of how I calmly spoke to the big whigs;
how I never raised my voice; didn’t even appear concerned about the outcome, even
though I was obviously working toward something and wasn’t taking “no” for an answer.
No matter how insulting or rude they were at the beginning, I stayed calm. I was not
affected in the least. Didn’t let their emotional state sway mine.
This shocked my friend as he was expecting rah-rah from me. He was expecting animation
and emotion, like he’s seen at all my seminars and trainings. Yet all he witnessed was
me talking in a normal tone of voice.
An hour later we left with what we wanted. And the other party was happy. It was
These are examples of detachment – of having emotional commitments to a goal –
but knowing when to detach and let the energy you’ve generated settle the
account. It’s a little like knowing when to “hold ’em, when to fold ’em, when to
walk away, when to run.”
There’s much more to explain about this process, and members of the Psycho-
Cybernetics Success Group are tuned into what happens next. All of what I’m
teaching is powerful, life-transforming material, supported by the man who
laid the ground work – Dr. Maxwell Maltz.
Hop aboard today at http://www.psycho-cybernetics.com/success_group.html –
don’t simply sit back and ask questions. Get involved. Make your life into the
masterpiece it was meant to be.